Reflections on the Life of Maryam Funches, Ed.D.By her daughter Zanjabil Williams-White
(As read at the Janazah Prayers, ICM, January 14, 2007)
Mary, Mert, MerNell, Auntie, Mimi, Nana, Sister Maryam or Mommy – no matter which name you knew her by, you knew and loved her well.
She was a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a niece and a cousin. She loved and cherished her family tremendously. They were her foundation, her building blocks of her love of God. She was always eager to be with them to sit and talk, laugh and sometimes argue, but most of all just to love.
She was a friend and a close Muslim sister to many, making friends wherever she would go. Most importantly she kept them––managing to give lasting love, support, advice and sisterhood to each of the countless people.
She was more than a community activist; for a lot of people she was their community. She worked tirelessly not only for numerous blessed and worthy causes, but also for individuals, families and friends by opening her home to anyone in need and by giving generously from what Allah provided her. Many times she gave up the comforts of her own bed (and that or our beds also) to facilitate the needs of others.
She was a grandmother –– enjoying her time shared with her grandkids, showering them with love and affection and spoiling them like only a grandparent can.
She gave birth to four children, but she was a mother to many, many more –-touching the lives of all of our friends and countless others. She naturally took the youth under her wing –– teaching, advising, inspiring and admonishing them like a second mother and like the mother some never had.
Undoubtedly she faced some of her greatest challenges with my brothers and me, but these challenges she met with courage. We all grew closer and closer to our mother as we matured and as she taught us how to better love each other, forgive more, and accept and appreciate people as they are. Her remedy to most problems we talked and called about was to Dhikir (or remember Allah). Even though we didn’t believe it was that simple––it always was.
All of the love she showed, which we were sometimes too blind to see, InshaAllah, we all felt and understood near the end. She became no longer just our Mother, nor just our Muslim sister in Islam, she truly became our Best Friend.
Finally, and I believe most importantly (and I know she’d agree), she was a Muslim: she didn’t claim one group of Muslims over another; she did not label herself as any particular kind of Muslim; she was simply a Muslim. She prayed in many masjids no matter the “school of thought.” She traveled in many circles and mingled effortlessly with most Muslims, and she supported the growth and establishment of Islam anywhere.
Being raised in a strong and loving household enabled her to answer the call from God to Islam. She understood and recognized the beauty of Islam and the unity it offered to communities and to the world.
The shock and great sadness that some may have felt at the news of her passing perhaps may have had less to do with the suddenness of her death, but more to do with the loss of such a vibrant, wonderfully bright Light in our lives. My mother would want us all to remember her good works, remember her giving and loving heart, remember her warm and friendly smile, and to work towards the unity with each other that she practiced among so many. Let her light live on in all of us; pray for her forgiveness, and pray for her entry into Paradise so that one day we too may realize the fulfillment of these ayats of the Quran that she so embodied:
“Say, Truly my prayer and service of sacrifice, my life and death are all for Allah, Lord of the Worlds: no partner has He: this I am commanded, and I am the first of those who bow to His Will.”
-6:162-163
15 comments:
AA,
Thank you all for your kind words and sympathy. Inshallah we all will strive to be better in the site of God.
akeel
Assalamualaikum,
Reading this post about Sr. Maryam warms my heart - it sounds like she was a phenomenal Muslim, and I pray that we can all strive to be as committed to this deen as she was.
Your family is in my prayers, may Allah (swt) comfort your hearts in this trying time,
wa'salaam
Zeenat
"Assalamualaikum" to the entire Williams family.
What a wonderful and beautiful woman Sis Maryam was. Having read about her personally touches my heart & creates this wonderful imagery of her life here on earth. She definitely has left a legacy on me to strive to please God more than ever. My deepest condolences & continued prayers for your family during this time.
Regards,214lyfe
May Allah admit Sr. Maryam into His Gardens and give the Williams family patience to endure.
May Allah bless Muhammad and his family and companions.
Amin
I have known you Isa and your family for some time now and you all come of love and of the many things I hear of Maryam, she was all love, she gave with her heart and was a blessed woman. She touched many people, especially the lives of her children. Mothers cultivate our lives, they fill our bodies with home cooked recipes and nourish our souls with their spirits. A mother's love is indescribable, as though God were working through them, to show us love, to feel His love. It is far beyond defining and defies all explanation and still continues to be a secret, a mother is a miracle, evidence of God's creation. And now with her passing that love lives on through her children for you are evidence of her life's work and each of you carry a part of her.
"Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the house of the LORD forever."
Via Con Dios,
Jeninha
In the name of Allah, the inspirer of truth. All praise is to Allah, Most Merciful and Compassionate, and all blessings and peace to our Master Muhammad, his family, companions, and those who follow them.
As'Salaamu Alaykum Rhamatullahi wa Barakatuh Family of Umm Akeel,
I just want to let you know Sister Maryam means so much to me. She was The Most Instrumental and Influential person who bought me to Islam. I remember when I first met her she invited me and my sister over for some takeout fried chicken and a movie, The Message. I was completely impressed by her and understood why Akeel thought I should contact her. I have never seen so much light from someone and so much faith and selflessness. When I first met her, I knew I wanted to be just like her. Then, I later knew why she was the way she was...because of Islam. I have never had the opportunity in my life to truly get to know someone who reminds me of the first believers. I feel so blessed. I talked to Sister Maryam on a weekly basis and sometimes everyday when I was on the east coast. After I became Muslim she always gave me encouragement by telling me beautiful things about Allah and the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS). I needed it so much in a time when my faith was so new coupled with the media slanders. Every time I talked with her, our talks were almost totally about Islam. I never talked about Allah, The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) and death with anyone as much as I did with Sister Maryam. In our conversations, she was very careful not to backbite.
When I would come over to her house and it would be only us two, she would reflect on her death with me. She told me she wanted to die peacefully with no one pumping her up with drugs or working on her. She told me she couldn't even imagine dying and seeing the angel and knowing you would be a Companion of the Right Hand. Her face would glow and she would have the brightest smile that bought her the utmost joy. She use to tell me how she wanted most in the world for Allah to think of her as His best friend and to be in the presence of The Noble Prophet Muhammad (SAWS). Almost every time I was in her presence, she would be cleaning out her house and giving something away. I asked her why and she said she did not want to be responsible for having too much in her possession. She told me it was sufficient enough for her to have five dresses, some food and water and roof over head. Subhanna'Allah.
She used to talk about her kids in the most beautiful manner. She said she was most proud that her kids were practicing Muslims who believed in Allah.
She gave me my first hijab I ever wore in public, one of them I wear almost three times a week and my first abayas, two of them that I used solely as my prayer dresses. She was the very reason why I had enough strength to where the hijab. She is the person who taught me my first surahs and how to pray. Until this day, when I feel tension from outside and the workplace being Muslim, I think about what Sister Maryam use to say, "Don't let people dictate your religion. Let Allah dictate it. Live life like it is your last moments." My mother never understood why I hung out so much with such an older woman, me being only 24 years old, but when she had a chance to meet Sister Maryam she could understand why.
I can't tell you how much I loved Sister Maryam. She may have never known how much I loved her. I have never been so excited to see someone because I knew in her presence I would be inspired and my faith uplifted. For me, it was heart wrenching to know your mother left this fleeting world, because for the first and time in my life I felt what it was like to love a sister for the sake of Allah. That is … to meet and depart solely for Allah’s sake. But I feel so happy and spiritually rejuvenated knowing the way she died and knowing how I need to spend my moments in this life. Allah is most Merciful. May Allah extend His divine Mercy over Sister Mayram. I truly thank him for bringing someone as wonderful as herself into my life so I may come to The Truth, Islam, and to love Allah and His beautiful Prophet Muhammad (SAWS).
"Be steadfast in your devotion to God, bearing witness to the truth..., and never let the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart from justice. Be just: that is closest to piety. . .God has promised forgiveness and a great reward to those who believe and do deeds of righteousness." [Quran, 5:8-9]
"Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country." [Hermann Goering, Nazi German politician and military leader]
There are many amongst us who know the heartache of empathy, who feel the burden of disparity and are troubled by injustice and depravity in our midst. Many of pure intention and good heart who day in and day out entrust our worries and burdens, through prayer and supplication, to our Creator. But there are few amongst us are actively faithful. Few who both pray for Allah’s mercy and provision and actually extend our will and energies to bring the fruits of our prayers and belief’s to fruition.
Sister Maryam will reign as a shinning example of faith in action. Her good deeds are a testament to the old adage that says “ to whom much is given, much is expected.” Her service to here community is clear testament to God-given grace and clarity, gifts which she actualized in her daily life and work. Allah has given the believer a priceless gift; the blue-print of Al-Islam and the example of The Prophet (SAWS). Thus for those who believe, the stakes are high; the expectations great. Who amongst us will rise to the task?
I pray that Sister Maryam’s example serves to enliven the heart and spirits of person’s and communities who have fallen dormant and apathetic in both earthly and spiritual endeavors. May the space of her absence on this plane be a vacuum for new affirmation and growth amongst and within us.
May Allah welcome sister Maryam into his dominion in the heavens and continue to lift the hearts and spirits of the Williams' family that they may remain buoyant and faithful as they live out and build upon her legacy.
With sincere humility, love and respect,
Aminah
"Assalamualaikum"
We came as beautiful from Allah. We will go to Allah as beautiful. We have come from Allah, we are going back to Allah. We were seen as one drop, and we have turned into huge oceans. A person might be seen as a small thing, but he is the mystery of all of creation, of all of the universes. So you're carrying a huge world. If we know our own worth, we will gain our character, and exalt.
May Allah make us as beautiful a human being as he did Sr.Maryam. (Mary) What a true woman indeed. Insha 'Allah, If we can love and respect oneanother as she did her family, brothers and sisters, this world will be a better place.
I pray Allah will bless you all (Williams family) with Peace & Love
wa'salaam
Esad
From Sister Muneera Afifa
As Salaamu Alaikum
Dear Brothers and Sisters
It is recommended that on the seventh night after the death of a Muslim to remember them with our prayers and supplications. We are asking that after your Isha salat, if possible, to recite the following dua for our beloved Sister Maryam and all of those who have returned back to the Most High.
O Lord, bless Muhammad and his descendants.Save us from extended hopes. Shorten them for us because of our good deeds done sincerely so that we may not expect (even)
the completion of one hour after another, nor the accomplishment of one day after another, nor the connection of one breath with another, nor the succession of one step to another.
Save us from their delusion. Give us security from their mischief. Fix death before our eyes permanently (as a fixture). Let not our remembrance of it be intermittent. Let our serv ice consist of good actions whereby we may desire to return unto Thee sooner and because of which we may long to join Thee quickly.
So much so that death may become our associate from whom we may derive comfort, our favorite whom we may long for and our next of kin to whom we may love to be near.
When Thou send it (death) down upon us and bring it to us, then let us be fortunate with it as a visitor and familiar with it as a sojourner.
Do not render us unfortunate in entertaining it. Do not disgrace us with its visit. Let it be one of the gates to Thy Forgiveness and one of the keys to Thy Mercy.
Let us die guided (righteous) not misled; obedient not unwilling; repentant not sinning and not persisting in sin. O surety for the reward of the righteous, O Reformer of the actions of the corrupt
Source: Al Sahifah Al Sajjadiyyah
Ma' Salaama
Isa,
There have been coutless times over the years that I was feeling down or doubtful, and no matter what I could count on your mom to say something kind..and she'd say "now now don't talk like that" and would make me feel better instantly. And sometimes she would even make me take back my words, and rethink what ever it was I was complaining about. I know that she loved me, she would always let me know. I think that is so special..her smile and sweetness I will carry with me forever.
You have always had a gift with words and making those words make sense and making those words come alive with meaning. You are special as are all of your brothers and sisters. I love you guys. You will always mean alot to me. Thank you for sharing your heart with the community through the blog. You have strength that guides you that you might not have known was there. Continue to be strong, I know your friends and family are there to support you. I just wanted you to know that I will always be a friend to you.
I pray for ummi's safe passage and will continue to keep her in my prayers. Love you, Billah
Dear Akeel, Isa, Hud and Zanjabil:
I just want to send each of you my deepest sympathy in learning of the passing of your mother, Sister Maryam Funches. Although I attended the funeral this past Sunday to share in the celebration of her life, I had hoped to personally express to you, your grandmother and other family members that we, too, share in the loss of such a warm, intelligent, ever-giving individual.
Believe it or not, I first met your mother when we were graduate students at Howard University School of Social Work in 1974. I still remember seeing this mini-skirted student in class one week and in full traditional dress of an unmarried Muslim woman the next. It wasn’t until 1992 when I became re-acquainted with your mother when we both were working at the Fishers Lane building of what was the Department of Social Services. When I pointed out to her that she reminded me of this young woman from grad school (her laugh and mole), she too realized our connection.
Maryam worked in several capacities in this department and our paths crossed frequently. However, over the past two years, I was fortunate to work more closely with her in obtaining shelter or financial assistance for homeless Muslim families and as a contractor with a program for Hurricane Katrina Evacuees who located in Montgomery County. Recently I had recommended your mother as a contractor with the new Piccard Pilot program. She started training in November 2006 and the Pilot debuted earlier this month. She relished this new role and proved to be a valuable asset to the 4-member Triage Team.
When Becky Smith mentioned on January 10th that Maryam had not called in, I told her that this was not typical of Maryam as she always called—in town, from airports or from out of town—if she had to miss work or a meeting. I left messages on her cell phone urging her to contact us. Alas, she did not call, making all of us more anxious about her status.
Maureen Herndon forwarded a copy of Zanjabil’s commons from the funeral, Akeel’s blog and the e-mail from your father. The strength it took for you (Akeel and Isa) to enter your mother’s home and find her—I can only imagine. But God gives us strength when we need it the most.
I am assisting Maureen Herndon in planning for the memorial service for your mother. We will forward the final date and program information soon. I do look forward to meeting some, if not, all of you. I am praying for each you and for Maryam.
Take care,
Vera-Marie C. Johnson
As Salaamu Alaikum
Dear Brothers and Sisters
It is recommended that on the seventh night after the death of a Muslim to remember them with our prayers and supplications. We are asking that after your Isha salat, if possible, to recite the following dua for our beloved Sister Maryam and all of those who have returned back to the Most High.
O Lord, bless Muhammad and his descendants.Save us from extended hopes. Shorten them for us because of our good deeds done sincerely so that we may not expect (even)
the completion of one hour after another, nor the accomplishment of one day after another, nor the connection of one breath with another, nor the succession of one step to another.
Save us from their delusion. Give us security from their mischief. Fix death before our eyes permanently (as a fixture). Let not our remembrance of it be intermittent. Let our serv ice consist of good actions whereby we may desire to return unto Thee sooner and because of which we may long to join Thee quickly.
So much so that death may become our associate from whom we may derive comfort, our favorite whom we may long for and our next of kin to whom we may love to be near.
When Thou send it (death) down upon us and bring it to us, then let us be fortunate with it as a visitor and familiar with it as a sojourner.
Do not render us unfortunate in entertaining it. Do not disgrace us with its visit. Let it be one of the gates to Thy Forgiveness and one of the keys to Thy Mercy.
Let us die guided (righteous) not misled; obedient not unwilling; repentant not sinning and not persisting in sin. O surety for the reward of the righteous, O Reformer of the actions of the corrupt
Source: Al Sahifah Al Sajjadiyyah
Ma' Salaama
Isa and Family,
I never had a chance to meet Sis Maryam. After reviewing these comments I see that she was a great person. She has reflected in your personality and now you have a great set of eyes watching over you. Your loved one has left behind thousands of moments that will live in your heart forever. So remember that memories keep those we love close to us forever. Athough words seem to say so little, I hope they help in some small way to ease the sense of loss.
Charles Blackstone
As'salaamu alaykum Akeel and family:
I met your mother for the first time at a fun raiser for the Charlottesville masjid. The second time was a little over a year later at you and Michael Siddiq's graduation. The third and last time I saw her was at the ISNA Conference in Washington DC in May 06.
This is how I would describe the three times I've been in the company of your mother:
Loved and obeyed Allah
Supportive and encouraging
Kind, generous, and pleasant
Helpful, sincere, and lovely
Direct and to the point
Extremely humourous
Great compassion
Insightful
Concern and respect for others
Advocate
Friend
Some are in this World to trample on the spirit of others, your mother was blessed with the gift to uplift the spirit of those whom she encountered, no matter how brief.
It is a blessing from Allah to represent Allah's universe of truth, light, peace, and harmony in the way that your mother did. I will miss her and feel honored that I have a picture taken with her at your graduation.
That will give me one of my fondest memories of her. Insha'Allah on behalf of your mother please accept my gratitude and appreciation of her support of me when I embraced Islam and her kindness as a human being.
DT
MY Reflection on the Final Journey of Sr. Maryam Funches
Some people, when you meet for the first time make you feel as if
you have known them for years. Our beloved sister Maryam Funches
was one of them.
I met her in early nineties at Muslim Community School in
Potomac,Maryland.
Our children were attending this school at that time. My first
encounter with her was through Malcolm X. She was raising funds
for a charity by selling bags with the imprint of Malcolm X on
them. This was sister Maryam who put the need and interest of her
community ahead of herself. The spontaneous and large gathering of people from various
nationalities and faiths who came to show their final respect at
her funeral(January 14,2007) is a testimony of love and
admiration for her committed self.
Sister Maryam would be seen everywhere.But she would not be every
where without any purpose or reason.
She extended her unflinching support to help the disadvantaged
people of all faiths and cultures. She exerted herself to
nourish her spirit and enrich her intellect by commuting long
distance to acquire life enriching education. She took various
courses in connection with her community service and earned her
doctoral degree in Pastoral Counseling in 2006.
Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon his soul) advised his followers to
travel with a person so that he/she can be known better. I had
the privilege of traveling with sister Maryam in year 2004 to
participate in the United Nation’s Conference on the Status of
Women(C.S.W) in New York. She represented Islamic-American Zakat
Foundation and I, The Minaret of Freedom Institute. She made
instant friendship with people from all walks of life. From bus
driver, hotel receptionist to women of various nationalities at
the conference became her friends.
As personable as she was, she also became my color coordinator
for an event I went to address. She picked up a multi colored
hand spun silk saree from my collection and said with her
natural sense of humor ”this color will suit the theme of your
presentation on multiculturalism’.
We shared the same room in the hotel and attended the CSW
conference for a week. At the end of each day, as we
returned to our room we would exchange notes from various
workshops and panels and reflect on them. After the formal
exchange we would begin exchanging our deeper thoughts and
feelings on various issues of interest and concern. As women we
have this innate capacity to transcend the barrier of superficial
and hierarchical and embrace the personal as the political. I
would tell her the stories of Bangladesh where I grew up and
which went through a massive national struggle for self
determination and independence that helped shaped my world view.
She would divulge her stories of growing up as an African
American woman. She faced many challenges as a woman, African
American and when she reverted to Islam. I was impressed by her
courage, constancy and compassion in spite of the many
challenges she encountered.
She believed that as women we should learn to assert our selves
and allow no one to control our thoughts and actions. She was
radiant with her conviction that true liberation lies in the
complete surrender to Allah and Allah alone. She was like a ephemeral Spring flower who left suddenly to be
cherished forever.
May The Most Compassionate and Beloved Creator of the Heaven and
Earth rest her soul in peace and grant her Paradise. Amin.
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